, the good bits, from the August 1976 National Lampoon
BEING AND TIME
by Martin Heidegger
V. Being-in as Such
26. Throbbing-Memberhood and Its potentiality-for-Exploding-in-White-Hot-Orgasmicity
At first glance the Being-in (*In-sein*) of Throbbing-member appears to us as a latency. Throbbing-member stands before us as a phenomenon of Itness, i.e., Throbbing-memberhood-in-its-Selfhood-as-merely-ontic Being. The Being-in of Throbbing-member attains facticity as an ontological verity when, with eager hands and low urgent moans, she guides Throbbing-member into her hot, pulsating womanhoodness. Then, too, does Throbbing-member discover the Being-present-at-hand-along-with (*Mitvorhandsein*) of breasts, mouth, clitoris, etc.
Thus, Throbbing-member enters "into" the spatio-temporal nexus of her love-drenched pussyhood and is present (*zugegen*) to its potentiality-for-attaining-orgasmhood. This is what I call Throbbing-member's *Being-toward-orgasmicity.* Her verbal characterization, "Oh my God, you're in me!" has "the entity inside" (*Das inwendig Seiende*) in its ontological selfhood as Throbbing-member, exclusive of the theirness of other "throbbing members" merely ready-to-hand, i.e., mere equipment.
"Oh God, I can't stand it, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming . . ." is, therefore, not only a phenomenological statement, but has existential-ontological meaning as well."
Surprisingly, Throbbing-memberhood does not extend to Genesis P-Orridge.
Hat tip: A Mild Adversative